


Car Chase

by Who_First



Category: DCU - Comicverse, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Car Chase, Gen, lotsa damage, twist in the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-28
Updated: 2012-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-04 10:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/392970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_First/pseuds/Who_First
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why are they currently being chased by a hoard of...well everyone? That's what Tim really wants to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“This is really a bad idea.” Tim muttered as he glanced in the rear view mirror.

That was a very long line of flashing blue and red lights following behind him. If daylight was blue and red than Tim would need sunglasses for how brightly those cars were shining.  Okay he already needed the sunglasses because looking in the rear view mirror was threatening to blind him.

He slid forwards in the seat, stretching to reach the pedals, and floored it. Literally. The gas pedal was crushed to the floor and Tim was really wishing for super strength right about now because then he could push it through the car floor but that might end up stopping the car.

And that would be bad.

“Hey Tim?”

Kon’s voice was really high pitched, Tim thought dogs might be squealing at how high it was, but then Bart started talking just as fast as if he was still a speedster and _that_ was high pitched.

“I think they’re gaining on us dude.”

“He’s totally right Tim! They’re close enough I can read their license plates! Oooh! Look that ones from Colorado! And that ones from New York! Does that one say stripperRus? Kon! I think it totally does!”

“Hey! I think KF’s right Tim! Can we slow down?” Kon leaned into the front section. “I want to say hi.”

“Quiet.” Tim growled, to busy wrenching the wheel to the left to wonder what they could have done to get strippers chasing them. Never mind it was probably Kon’s fault anyway. “See anything else?”

“Nah Tim,” Kon twisted back to looking out the back window. “That’s why we got you ‘member?”

“Tim! Hey Tim! I think Interpol’s chasing us too!”

“How?” Tim stomped both his feet on the brake, twisting the wheel in time, fishtailing into the too small alley. His backseat driver’s cheered at the pretty sparks as the paint and out layer of metal was stripped away. “Interpol doesn’t have assigned cars like the police.”

“Well there’s lots of big black vans behind us.” Bart twisted and grinned at Tim in the rearview mirror. “And they’re catching up!”

“I think he’s right.” Kon agreed as he leaned against the backseat for a better view of the chaos. “They’re definetly getting closer.”

The car flew out of the alley, leaving behind some important looking parts, as Tim twisted the car around again. Pedal back down to the floor as they fishtailed through more turns.

“Whoah!”

Bart and Kon cracked heads in the backseat, both giving Tim hurt looks, as the car twisted more.

“Who taught you to drive?!” Kon screeched.

“Your mother.” Tim growled.

Bart started giggling hysterically, dropping to the back seat, as Kon stared slack jawed.

“What? Tim? I-“ Kon was still staring in shock as Bart sat up and started pointing out the front window.

“Hey Tim? Hey Tim I think that’s lower than the car.”

Tim slunk even lower in his seat, not hard with his current height, and aimed for the truck starting to cross the street ahead of him.

“Oh man.” Kon dropped into the well of the backseat pulling Bart down next to him. “Tim’s pissed.”

Glass and metal screamed as the car drove into the crossing tracker trailer. Everything exploded into sparks as the top sheared off and Tim was twisting the wheel harder as the new convertible fishtailed across the road.

“Whooo!” Bart and Kon popped up liked deranged jack in the boxes and cheered.

“Tim that was awesome!” Kon leaned forwards between what was left of the seats.

“Hey I think you lost them!” Bart whooped again as he wriggled along behind Kon as they both got into the passenger front seat. “Smooth sailing Tim!”

Which would be when the chopper flew overhead and turned the spotlight on, one very bright light following the convertible, as it turned and hovered in front of them.

“Whoops.” This was said in unison from Kon and Bart as they watched the helicopter fly lower and head straight for them.

Tim gritted his teeth and kept going.

“Hey Tim?” Bart’s voice was still very excited sounding as the space between the car and helicopter grew shorter very quickly.

“Tim?” Kon’s voice was getting higher again. “Dude, I know you’re fucking awesome but you can’t play chicken with a helicopter!”

“Watch me.”

Kon ducked, burrowing down into the space under the dash and pulling Bart along behind him, there was one very good thing about being half of their normal size.  Bart started protesting as the car growled in protest next to him.

Tim’s eyes narrowed as he judged the space between them and the approaching metal bird.

“Thing about playing chicken is…” Tim started grinning madly as he ducked as low as possible. “You have to know when to blink.”

The copter veered to one side, glancing off a building with screeching as the skids took out other cars, and zooming straight up as the car whizzed past.

“Ohmygod!” Bart popped up before Kon could wrestle him down again. “Tim that was awesome! Can we do it again?”

“No way!” Kon shoved at Bart’s head. “Tim pull the car over!”

“And get caught?!” Tim twisted his head to stare at Kon. “Then what?”

“Hey guys they got a roadblock!”

“Get down Bart!” Again shouted in unison as both Tim and Kon whipped around to glare at Bart.

“But guys! Roadblock!”

“Oh my god.” Kon ducked again, not even trying to drag Bart with him as the not very speedy speedster jumped in his seat. “Tim?”

Once again Tim really wanted to plug his ears but that would involve taking his hands off the wheel which would be a very _bad_ idea.

“Tim please don’t ram the fucking roadblock!”

“Go Tim! Ramming speed!”

Tim tuned both of them out, eyes squinting against the bright light, as he slammed on the breaks.

“Oh god oh god, Tim this is a very bad idea.”

“Kon!” Tim shouted as the roadblock vans started speeding towards them, Kon immediately shut up and turned to Tim. “Watch the back and warn me if I’m going to hit something!”

Bart continued whooping in joy as the car moved into reverse and jumped backwards as it started moving again.

“STOP THE CAR!”

Tim grinned at the booming voice coming out of the vans chasing them.

“Left! No your other left!” Kon started screaming as he watched out the back. “No! Back go back!”

“Calm down Kon!” Bart was jumping in their seat again. “I think they’re trying to tell us something!”

“Stop! They’re coming from the back! And the sides!”

The car rocked to a halt again. Steam flying everywhere as part of the engine fell out. All the huge black vans spinning to stops around them.

“Wow.” Bart jumped up looking around the circle of vans. “That was so awesome! Come on Tim lets do it again!”

“Gotta admit Tim.” Kon added as black suited men started piling out of the vehicles with guns pointed. “That was a hell of a ride.”

“Not over yet.” Tim muttered watching the huge one eyed man in a trench coat stalking towards them.


	2. Chapter 2

“Anyone want to fucking inform me why half the country and my agents were chasing children?!”

The children in question were currently handcuffed in front of a wall of Shield’s black suited agents, looking worse for the wear, except for Tim who had multiple handcuffs and was being held by the scruff of his neck a few feet off the ground.

“Sir-“

“Don’t even try to fucking answer that.” The large black man glared harder over the heads of the smaller escapees. “But the fucking brats down and get someone smarter in here.”

Tim was dropped, steadied by both Kon and Bart, as they glared at the vanishing agents.

“Now.” The big man sat down behind the equally large and imposing desk as the single eye glared. “Who the fuck are you.”

Bart and Kon glanced at Tim in unison. And he just pursed his lips and frowned up at the eye patch.

“Don’t make me ask twice.” One hand rubbed against the bald head. “I’ll fucking call your mothers.”

They remained silent, Tim glaring back, but Bart start shaking with the need to say something and Kon was starting to look really pissy.

“Who are you?” Tim asked, crossing his hands as much as he could with three sets of cuffs there had been a few incidents involving his teeth and sensitive skin while they were taken away from the scene of the crime.

“Nick Fury. Director of Shield.” The man glared harder. “Still wondering why we had to chase down rugrats through greater New York.”

“Talk to my lawyer.” Tim snorted, finally nudging Bart and nodding, on Tim’s other side Kon grinned in anticipation. At least Bart’s rants were safe. Mostly.

“We’re the Three Musketeers, patent in progress, and we protect the little guys from getting kidnapped by big black vans in the middle of the night-“

“Would work better if you were loose.” Fury snorted.

“And we fight for the freedom of all fluffy creatures from their oppressors like the common bunny rabbit which is really more dangerous than most people realize and has been involved in the deaths of no less than three hundred people, so we protect some bad guys but they’re still really cute and fluffy so it’s not bad exactly-“

“Monty Python doesn’t count.” Kon interjected.

“Okay no less than two hundred ninety something deaths, but that’s still a really big number and that’s not even counting the vampire version of the fluffy bunny which totally isn’t Monty Python at all SB, so that makes it totally over like five hundred kills. And I’m pretty sure there are giant versions too that can eat whole cities.”

“We can take them all out with Rob’s driving skills.”

“If a hoard of giant fucking rabbits try to eat New York I know who to blame.” Fury rubbed harder at his head. “Shut up kid.”

“KF.” Tim nudged him again, cutting off the argument mid-sentence. “Our demands are simple.”

“Really?” The drawled word sounded very bland for the glare.

“Yes. Let us leave in peace or KF will continue.”

“Really?” The little redhead started hopping around the cold middle boy. “I can totally go on! Did you know that implosions are way worse than explosions? Cause then it’s all squeezy and squashing you until you burst and it takes way longer-”

“No way, what if it’s an explosion in a plane with the green rocks cause than you’re burning and falling _and_ you’re gonna splat.”

“No see then you have the chance of catching something else falling and you can use it to break your fall!”

“Nothing can break that kind of fall!”

The single dark eye narrowed as it met stony blue eyes, both ignoring the ranting argument like the professionals they were, and eyeing the opposing person in charge.

“We are willing to discuss further arrangements.” Tim said gracefully as the argument descended into a kicking fight behind him.

“Further arrangements.” Again said very blandly as Fury stood and pressed a button on his desk. “I think I’ll discuss this with some of my own people in the meantime.”

“Sir?” Tim twisted around to glare at the new black suit, a much more bland looking man that Tim would dismiss on principle if he didn’t know better, since there were some more interesting people pushing in behind him.

“Hey boss we saw the chase on the news and why are you talking with midgets?”

“I’d like you to meet my own lawyers and your current babysitters.” Fury smirked back at Tim.

“Woah wait a moment bossman-“

“I don’t do children, I have robots for that kind of thing-“

“Sir! You can’t put children in that kind of danger that-“

“Stark, Cap, Hawkeye. Get the hell out of my office while I talk to Coulson. Take the miniature bad guys with you.”

“Hey!” Bart piped up as the tall blond man looked disapproving as he laid a hand on Kon’s shoulder. “We’re totally not the bad guys! You guys were chasing us! And you totally interrogated minors without an adult present which is so illegal-“

“Get them the fuck out of my office.” Fury snorted as Tim glared back pouting, while Cap had to grab both Bart and Kon as they started fighting again. “Gentlemen. Dismissed.”

“Hey I wasn’t finished yet!” Bart struggled to look back as Tim was lifted off his feet after them. “What if the bunnies have explosives?! They can take over before anyone realizes it!”

“KF! Bite him!” Kon ordered as they struggled.

“I’m trying!” Bart glared back as the blond Captain struggled with a boy under each arm trying to bite him. “You taste really good mister, were you near cotton candy?”

“We’re doing this under protest.” Tim glared over his shoulder one last time, or Hawkeye’s shoulder as the archer was smart enough to lift his rugrat away from anything important.

“Come on, really Steve?” The last dark haired man was still complaining underneath Bart’s words.

“I don’t want to hurt them!”

“You’re a nice guy mister, but seriously, the bunnies will totally eat you in the end.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly filler

Tim glared over his tapping fingers at his partners in crime.

“Thoughts?”

“Well Mister Cotton Candy is really strong, and way too nice, and the evil looking goatee guy really doesn’t like kids.” Bart started as he wriggled in his seat. One of the agents had taken the time to bring in fluffy beanbags. Tim almost felt bad about his desire to use the bags to smother the next agent that entered.

“Yeah and this place is huge, did you see all those agents?” Kon asked, he fluffed his chair in such a way that Tim expected he would be against using them as weapons.  “Mr. Goatee is the weak link, he wasn’t listening to the big boss at all, if we can get left alone we can get out of here no problem.”

“Agreed.” Tim nodded as he leaned back. Okay fine the chairs were comfy. “The other man has weird callouses. I think he’s like Arsenal, uses a bow, but I don’t think he’ll be a big problem either.”

Silence stretched as they thought over it. Currently they had been shoved into an interrogation room, with bean bag chairs, and were being forced to wait for someone to come back and talk to them.

“Any ideas where we are?” Tim finally asked. He had an idea but he really hoped that just this once he was way off base.

“Well…” Kon folded his arms behind his head. “I remember that the magic user was able to make portals but I can’t remember if we were pushed into one.”

“We were.” Bart nodded. “And it really sucks being shrunk again plus why can’t I move fast?” He turned huge watery eyes on Tim. “I’ve been good Tim honest, he threw the spell turned us tiny and sent us through one of the portals. So why can’t I run?”

“Bart.” Tim groaned. He remembered the blue pulsing lights too, and waking up several feet shorter was a bit shocking. “It’s probably because of the spell. Do you have any access to your powers yet Kon?”

“Nope. Still powerless.” Kon sighed heavily. “This being normal really sucks by the way. My head hurts thanks to your driving.”

“Stop complaining.” Tim snorted again. This was going to be a long night. “I don’t think there are any groups that can mobilize that quickly thought.”

Not and still catch them anyway which was very annoying.

“Yeah and I heard some of the agents talking about ‘Avengers’.” Bart continued. “I don’t know any groups called the avengers. And these guys are really good!”

“Yeah.” Tim cupped his hands under his chin. “I’m not sure yet but I don’t think we’re in are universe anymore.”

“Ah Rob,” Kon covered his eyes as he whined, “Don’t say that dude! Come on you’re dooming us!”

“Shut up SB.” Tim snorted as he thought once again he was likely right because if he wasn’t life would probably be better and fate couldn’t allow that. “We can use our age as a distraction and help get out of here. Anyone have lock picks?”

“You usually have them Rob.” Kon cuddled his chair some more as Tim glared. “Hey don’t blame me because they took away all your toys.”

“Yeah.” Bart flopped around until he was upside down. “That one guy really didn’t like getting bitten.”

“He deserved it.” Tim snorted. “Besides I-“

“Hey kids.”

All three glared at the opening door with the shorter blond man staring at them.

“Time to go hup, hup.” The archer was grinning widely. “Fury decided you guys are too dangerous to be kept here so you’re coming to Avengers Manor with us.”

“Really.” Tim drawled, at once he and the others went boneless and slipped down a bit in chairs.

“Really? Do I need to get Thor in here and carry you guys out?”

“I don’t know, do you?” Tim snarked back. He was getting very comfy. “Go away.”

“Why? Do you need more time to plot your great escape?” Hawkeye rolled his eyes and tapped the ear comms. “Thor can you come to the interrogation room?”

Bart and Kon snorted while Tim glared. And that’s how they sat as they waited for whoever Hawkeye had called. Of course when the footsteps thudded down the hallway and the blond wookie poked his head in the door with a wide grin they knew they were in for trouble.

“Good evening friends! I would be most honored to help you in your endeavors, friend Hawkeye!”

“Thanks Thor.” Hawkeye grinned evilly at the three apparent children. “The boys here don’t want to go back to the manor with me so I need some help moving them.” 

“No problem Hawkeye!” Thor thundered, walking into the room as the three children scrambled backwards over the beanbags. “I shall be happy to!”

“Stop right there!” Tim warned, grabbing at the bean bag to use it as a bludgeoning weapon, sadly he forgot about his sudden lack of normal proportions and tipped over.

“Fear not my young friend! I shall be most gentle and careful.” Thor was still grinning happily as he lifted Tim like a naughty kitten by the scruff of his shirt.

Kon moved forwards angrily as Tim swung in the air, being picked up with the giants other hand, and swearing as the man walked out with them.

“So?” Hawkeye was looking very smug as he looked at Bart, glancing over his shoulder and grinning as he met Tim’s glare. “The hard way or the easy way?”

Bart watched as his teammates were carried out like luggage and jumped forwards.

“Give me a piggyback ride and I’ll go quietly.” Bart demanded, still jumping around, as he moved forwards.

“Deal.” Hawkeye grinned back and leaned down slightly as he let Bart jump onto his back. “Just so that you know you guys are all under house arrest until we figure out what to do with you.”

“That’s cool.” Bart dug his head into Hawkeye’s hair. “We’re still working on that escape plan. I’m totally voting for the killer bunnies but Rob glared at me.”

~~~

Tim wasn’t sulking, only a little bit, when the government black issue van pulled to a halt outside a big manor. In the back of his mind Tim thought that the stately Wayne manor was much nicer looking.

“Here we are boys.” Hawkeye still grinning at the sour look on Tim’s face. “Do you need help walking in?”

“If you do I would be happy to help friends.” Thor grinned and Tim really wanted to shade his eyes from brightness of the white teeth.

“I don’t think they’ll need the help.” Hawkeye smirked as he climbed out of the car and waited. “Come on lazy rugrats. Welcome to the Avengers manor and meet the team.”

Tim glared even harder, trying his damn best to light the archer on fire with the force of his glare, as he slunk out of the car followed by Bart and Kon. The sight of what was obviously a team made him tense as all eyes fell on them. Tim really wanted to push his teammates behind himself but they probably would have words with him if he tried.

“I’ve seen better.” Tim snorted, ignoring the goatee man’s annoyed curses, to busy watching the strangers. Yeah they moved like heroes but… “We’ll be leaving shortly.”

Kon and Bart exchanged glances as Tim attempted to cover them.

“Really.” That was Mr. evil goatee. “I look forwards to seeing that shorty.”


End file.
